Sunday, November 22, 2009

2010: Dawn of a New Blog-Era

Friends, it has been far too long - in fact, two years since I last posted. It is clear to me now that having a job hinders ones desire to blog. Be that as it may, I have realized that once one becomes adept at 'jobbing' life finds its way naturally back to 'blogging.' Thus, 2010 shall be blessed with blogs a plentiful. Breakfast Blogs. I realize these 'reviews' may be moot because Blogto and the like already do a really good job at covering restaurants but I really like taking pictures of my food and then harshly criticizing it. And as many know it is not often that I am not 100% satisfied by the meals placed in front of me so get ready for me to rip a new one.

We'll start with the latest brekkie place I've gone to and work our way back to the past. I've heard that's the best way to recount things when you have a poor memory.

Lola's Commissary
634 Church St

I heard about this place from BlogTo as one of the Best New Brunch places of 2009. Since it's close by (ie within the realm of Yorkville) me and my faithful companion decided to give it a go.

We were seated immediately beside a window and heating vent. A very nice treat indeed. Big Al, trying to nip a hanover in the bud, ordered a mimosa and an orange juice while I ordered coffee and orange juice. The coffee was served a la Americano which was a surprising change from the black sludge I usually drink. As Big downed her champagne heavy mimosa I remarked how elegant the cutlery was. Even before the food arrived we were pleased with Lola's. One minor complaint was the size of oj - though it was the best freshly squeezed I've had in a while it's never fun to feel like you have to ration your juice.


Note: for some reason I though putting the oj next to a tiny flower vase would accurately display how small the glass was. In my efforts I've made it look ginormous.


The menu was small and filled with a variety of options ranging from your standard eggs and bakey to fancy-schmancy wraps and 3 different types of French toast. Big ordered eggs over-hard with bacon and a side salad and I ordered Eggs Benedict with a side salad. Snarfing salad instead of hash browns, I've learnt, leaves your stomach with a feeling of satisfaction rather than self-combustion. It's the little things. The salads at Lola were delish; topped with cranberries, candied pecans and pears they were refreshing and would be suitable to be served alongside lunch and dinner. Since I find pears offensive I dumped them onto Big's more than welcoming plate. It was nice to have the salads seperate from our main dish. Nobody likes a warm salad.


Our plates arrived piping hot and our food was displayed nicely. Big remarked that her eggs were cooked perfectly and were 'beautiful' even. She made me touch her toast for a reason's I still don't know. Regardless, the toast was crispy on the outside and soft on the inside. "Fresh and dense," she says.


My eggs benny was served atop bacon - something I've never had before but was excited about. The bacon, something I find every breakfast place usually does wrong, was incredible. Perfectly cripsy, but maybe a little too crispy for some, Big and I both agreed it was the best bacon we'd ever had at a Toronto breakfast.

A note on eggs: as my faithful companion knows too well, I have a thing about eggs. I am slightly afraid of them, in that if they are not cooked the way I like them, I become disgusted with them. When I was younger I used to refuse to eat the whites of eggs. To me, the runny yolk was the only part of the egg worth eating. My poor parents would continue to make me a full egg breakfast and I would happily dip my bread and bacon in the yolk and leave the whites untouched. When we had a dog he would have a feast consisting of all my scraps. These days my scraps (less plentiful than before) are often consumed by Big Al and others. Anecdotes aside, today I am able to eat almost all of the white provided it passes what I consider a not too harsh requirement. The white has to be fraking cooked all the way through. I don't care if the yolk flows faster than the mississippi nothing disgusts me more than a mucousy white wiggling at me from my fork. I have realized though, through my countless encounters with these offenders, that there are more important things to worry about than an uncooked white. Provided it isn't too uncooked I've learnt to suck up my pride and slurp up my eggs (gross). The eggs at Lola's are an example of this.


When I cut into the egg, the yolk shot out with such force that it almost landed onto the table next to us. Worry began to set in (with very runny yolk comes mucousy whites) but with such mounting hunger I said 'fuck it' and proceeded to eat the eggs with a non-judgmental approach. Through my flourishing cultery I noticed scary bits of white mucous but at such a minimal amount it seemed fruitless to push it away. Snarf on, my brain said, snarf on. So I did, and I was mostly pleased. I would have preferred a bit more hollaindaise and I do prefer ham with my benedict. I can safely say though that the benny was probably one of the best I've had in Toronto.

Reeeeecap
Big Al's Take
Food: A
Service: A+
Atmosphere: A
Music: A+
Bathrooms: N/A
Notes - Big Al, as she is apt to do, made a friend with owner Therese and learned that there is a fixed winter menu coming up during the same time frame as Winterlicious.

Lilsweetpotato's Take
Food: A-
Service: A+
Atmosphere: B+
Music: A+
Bathrooms: A
Notes - I gave the atmosphere a B+ because the decor wasn't really 'me'

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Ways To Be A Douchebag On The Internet #1

Writing d/l-ed instead of downloaded.

Example, a comment from Jezebel in regards to a song:

I shamefully still listen to "chewing gum" and d/l-ed this single.

Why do people do this? Because they can. Douchebags run free and wild on the Internet. It is their sanctuary.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Job Eat Blog

I'm starting a new job tomorrow so that means I will have less time to spend on the Internet. This makes me sad but it is absolutely necessary that I get myself weaned off before I become a full-on junkie. Internet addiction is a clinical disorder but it's a pretty lame addiction to be afflicted with. With hardcore drugs you get to see cool things with very little effort (relatively speaking...I've never shoved a needle in my arm) but with the Internet you click links for hours and strain your eyes just to be rewarded with a redonkulous six minute video of a hedgehog floating in a bathtub....which has been removed from youtube! That's the other thing. The Internet is a devilish bastard who takes things away without warning. Well, here's a link to a video of Howard digging. The music is apparently from Willow which is one of my favourite childhood movies.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Cloverfield

sucked.

Friday, June 20, 2008

I'm a Mac

But I hate myself sometimes. Why are some things on Macs so frustrating?? I really miss the paint tool on PC. I downloaded some shite program called Paintbrush and it is complete shit. Notice the jugheader? It looks retarded but it's the best I've come up with after an hour of finessing. I'm pining for my ol reliable Lappy from University whose fan got overheated to a point of complete shutdown every time me and my pals were watching Gilmore Girls and Buffy.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

No Offenvise IIntended

Has anyone else noticed that those security images when you sign up for things on the internet are getting harder to distinguish? You know the ones; the squiggly letters crammed tight together with lines sometimes across them? They're used so programs can't hack into sites and generate machine-like user identities. Anyways, it's getting very hard to recognize the letters and numbers and I'm getting sick and tired of having to click the 'Use a different image' link. Either internet security is tightening or I'm becoming less human and, arguably, more stupid. Hm.

This all started because I want to do sign up to Yahoo so I can answer this question on Yahoo Answers.

Help about my Cousin!?!?
My cousin is 11 yrs oold and shes 108 lbs. 5'1 and shes "thick" like black girls no Offenvise iintended
she has like thick legs and a stomach that pokes out..
She isnt the skinnest gurla round and she eats like umm 3 times a day and like 3 popsicles and like 2 chocolate bar every 2 weeks...


any suggestions plz help ty !!



...what.

I've read this five times now and it still makes no sense.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Staying Classy


This is my first completed comic. After you've worked on something for a period of time it's hard to tell if what you're doing is good. It's like saying the word "cat" over and over. After a while it loses meaning.